Partly Sunny vs. Partly Cloudy

One of the universe's age old questions, besides why are women crazy and why are midgets so entertaining, is what is the difference between partly sunny and partly cloudy. Let's delve into the subject, shall we? (not one of the universe's age old questions, really more rhetorical in fact)

Each night as I unwind and ready myself for the world of slumber, I sit back and watch Tony Mastro of WJTV become Tony Maestro. The way he moves his hand across the green screen darting from Corinth to D'Iberville, from Meridian to Vicksburg, following cold fronts, high pressure, low pressure, it's almost as if he has a tv monitor right in front of him just off screen with an actual map on it. Tony Maestro, yea...that has a nice ring to it. Point is, this man controls weather, he knows it like a hooker knows chlamydia. But, does he know the difference between partly sunny and partly cloudy?

Is this question relative to the person who answers? To me, sixteen clouds might make a day partly cloudy, where as to Keith Studdard, a single circumnimbus could spell the end of the world and immediately call for a "severe thunderstorm warning." Einstein might be my source for more on relativity, but unfortunately, much like my library card...he expired.

What does the forecast of partly sunny or partly cloudy do the human psyche? Would a partly sunny forecast allow you to feel better about your day, and a cloudy the opposite? If so, you would think there would need to be a defined difference in the two. Give me a total cloud count. But then, are you, the citizen and messagee required to count said clouds? How expansive is the area of the sky that dictates whether your area is partly sunny/cloudy? You see the dileema here.

There is no conclusive research being done to my knowledge that leads me to believe we will ever have answer to this question. Much like Kennedy's assination, the location of Hoffa's body, and Tom Cruise's sexuality, it will remain a mystery beyond our lifetime. It is my hope, that with continued prodding and probing (not a joke about a human anus) someone will have to give us the answers.

As I gaze out the window now, I count well over 200 clouds. I'm an optimist and realize the sky is huge. I call this partly sunny. But, someone somewhere is looking out his or her window, and they are calling it partly cloudy.