Stuperstition

su‧per‧sti‧tion 
–noun 1. a belief or notion, not based on reason or knowledge, in or of the ominous significance of a particular thing, circumstance, occurrence, proceeding, or the like.
2. a system or collection of such beliefs.
3. a custom or act based on such a belief.
4. irrational fear of what is unknown or mysterious, esp. in connection with religion.
5. any blindly accepted belief or notion.

By its very definition it's safe to say that superstition is unreasonable and falliable, but does that stop any of us from believing in it? No. Take me for example, in the 2001 Ole Miss vs. Alabama game at Vaught-Hemingway stadium, I spent the better part of the 3rd quarter and the entire 4th quarter looking straight down at a wet spot in the stands. Why? Because when I originally did it on an Alabama third down, we held and got the ball back. Clearly this position was working for me. Of course I had to stick with it, and I did for nearly an hour straight. Sure I had one of the all-time worst cricks in the neck and didn't see a single 4th quarter minute of the Rebels first victory over the Tide in nearly two decades, but that's not important. What's important is that my looking down at a wet spot won the Rebels the game.

It's things like this that make being superstitious seem justifiable. I can think of numerous occassions where I've looked down, up, held the remote in a certain way, stood on one foot, or sacrificed a goat at halftime. Can't you? And you did all for the betterment of your team. For the most part people accept your superstitions. You might get asked the initial, "Why in the world is there bull scrotum in your mouth and your face covered in cream cheese?" But once you explain that you are doing it for the guys on the field/court/diamond, the acceptance is almost immediate. It's not just fellow fans and peers that accept this behavior, even your opponents fans will admire you for doing whatever it takes to get your beloved team over the hump.

Take for instance my acceptance of a usually hated and despised LSU fan two Saturday's ago in Tiger Stadium. It was 20-7 good guys (Rebels) late in the 3rd quarter. He had been trying everything to give his Tigers a spark. Voodoo, mixing drinks to wash away the pain, kissing his sister/girlfriend/tranny, bowing (which I've heard is a traditional LSU move), etc... Nothing was working.

Here he is bowing:


Then it hit him like a ton of meth...I'll take my pants off. He didn't need to explain himself to me, a huge superstition believer as mentioned earlier, but he went ahead. "Shit, it worked against Florida." As the da in Florida rolled off his pierced tongue, he unzipped his jeans and lowered them to the ground. It was then I knew we were fucked. Not just because I was staring directly into his anoooooooooose (Borat), but because he had found the answer to the Tiger's troubles. No more than seconds after his lycra tights were hit by the cool Baton Rouge air, things began to unravel for the Rebels. Ole Miss head coach Ed Orgeron, a huge believer in voodoo and superstition stemming from his Louisiana roots, was also immediately effected. It was no coincidence that right after Joe Dirt's snakehead belt buckle was unfanged and his jeans hit the concrete that Orgeron opted to bench Brent Schaeffer and put in walk-on Seth Adams. Coincidence...I think not. Orgeron had been overwhelmed by one mans belief that ditching his britches would lead not only to getting in his sisters pants, but a Tiger victory and preservation of their BCS hopes.

Those of us close to the Rebels, Tigers, or SEC football know the rest of the story as far as the game is concerned. The Tigers would go on to score 16 unanswered points and take an overtime victory from the Rebels. As the Rebel section sat bewildered and sickened by yet another close victory or choke, I couldn't help but feel responsible. Surely there was more I could have done. I could have lowered my pants, exposed myself, or even killed a child. I hadn't evoked the certain something that would lead my team to victory. Instead, I idly sat and watched another man become the single greatest patagonia legging advertisement this world will ever know. Should I have instigated something with the Tiger faithful and forcefully put this mans pants back on? If I had been able to lift his pants up, would I have even been able to refasten the fangs of the snakehead back into the belt, thereby securing his pants? I don't know the answers because folks, I was too weak to try. I'm to blame.

You see, desperate times call for desperate measures. As cliche' as that phrase is, it is oh so true. This man didn't care about the frigid night air causing embarrassingly obvious shrinkage that would clearly be visible while wearing only tights. He didn't give a Borat's bag of poop. He did it to keep hope alive for his team, and it worked.

So, let this post be a wake-up call to all of you fans out there. If your team is down, or looks as if it's about to go down don't be afraid to let your pants down. There's a chance that it might not be the appropriate avenue of superstition and you will look like a fool, or even be arrested, but is that a chance your willing to take to win the game? It's a chance I won't pass up again.

I leave you with this to further prod you along towards finding that little bit of luck that is out there for all of us to grasp:




After his team had just nailed the game-winning field goal in overtime, Joe Dirt sat, and recollected about all the great accomplishments he had achieved in his life. All of them paled in comparison to that brisk November night when against the Rebels of Ole Miss, he took down his pants to help the Tiger's to victory.

Hear me Rory

He might not look it, but Rory Johnson is a beast. He's not the Mr. Academia he appears in the above picture or in his high school report cards (joke). He's a man on a mission this Saturday and is refreshing to know we have at least one player with some real vigor and desire to win instilled within them.

Johnson was originally set to attend Mississippi State following his "graduation" from "high school" shortly after he turned "18," but failed to qualify "academically" and was "forced" to attend "junior college." He believes that many gave up on him at Mississippi State and didn't continue to pursue him while he was enrolled at junior college, therefore payback is in order.

"I've got a whole lot of built-up aggression in me," Johnson said. "I really just want to go out there and make some hits and hit hard. ... That's all I've been thinking about. I had a dream about some hits last night. It was hard hits, I'm talking about some takeout shots."

I'm ready to see this. It's not like he really needs any added motivation to play hard and make tackles, so we are in for a treat.

Irony

When irony strikes...

Schembechler collapses, dies at 77

DETROIT -- Former Michigan football coach Bo Schembechler has died, television station WXYZ is reporting.

He was 77.

Schembechler collapsed Friday during the taping of a television show and was taken by ambulance to a hospital.

He became ill at WXYZ-TV in Southfield the day before the Ohio State-Michigan showdown, the station said. Schembechler also was hospitalized Oct. 20 after falling ill at the same studio.

Earlier Friday, Southfield police spokesman John Harris could not provide specific medical information, but said: "I don't think it was good."

Police were sent to the station about 9:25 a.m. with the city's fire department, and they escorted an ambulance to Providence Hospital, Harris said.

Messages were left with the university, Schembechler's office and the hospital.

Schembechler met with the media this week to discuss Saturday's game between the No. 1 Buckeyes and No. 2 Wolverines. He also talked about the device that was implanted to regulate his heartbeat after he was hospitalized last month. He said the device covered about half his chest, and doctors still were adjusting it.

Schembechler said he did not plan to attend the game in Columbus, Ohio, and he doesn't go to road games anymore.

Schembechler had a heart attack on the eve of his first Rose Bowl in 1970 and another one in 1987. He has had two quadruple heart bypass operations.

The seven-time Big Ten coach of the year had a 194-48-5 record at Michigan from 1969-89. His record in 26 years of coaching was 234-64-8.

This band, the Dead Schembechler's was set to have a big weekend playing music, looks like their name has meaning now and it'll be interesting to see how they respond.

He was a great head football coach, hard-nosed, and a discplitarian. Very much of the Lombardi, Bear Bryant mold...he'll be missed.

Red Stick = Baton Rouge

That gentleman is holding what is known as a red stick. This weekend I will be travleing amongst other Rebel faithful to the town that means Red Stick. It actually reads Stick Red, but as we know the french do everything backwards so we in America are forced to invert the phrase so that it makes sense. This is similar to the French's bathing techniques, which don't exist.

Baton Rouge and LSU, ahhh. A combination created in the underbelly of Satan's hell. It's only fitting that Tiger Stadium is commonly referred to as Death Valley. It hasn't been too kind to the Rebels over the course of history as far as wins and losses are concerned, but lately the Rebels have enjoyed some success there. At one point I was even referring to it as The University of Mississippi-Baton Rouge. That quickly changed. But, the last two trips down the Rebels have played in very close games and chances to win against Tiger teams that were definitely more talented and deeper than the Rebs.

Other opportunities present themselves in Baton Rouge beyond just football of course. These opportunities include eating at Mike Anderson's, binge drinking and watching football, trying to find midgets to soak in cologne and hang from your rearview mirror and make into human air-freshners. Ahh, Baton Rouge. All in all it should be a very fun trip regardless of score and outcome. I say this now, but I'll be the guy you see on local news in a profanity laden tirade against local Batonees, Tigeraes, and Governor Kathleen Blanco. Why is it that even when I know we are outmatched, out-manned, and equal witted I still get mad about losing? Why can't I just accept that we aren't as good as some of these teams we play at this point? Because folks, I'm a Rebel. We are naive, jaded, and biased by nature and we bleed blue and red...like most humans, but ours is realllllllllly blue and red.

After Baton Rouge sticks its red stick in my red ass, I'll leave for New Orleans. I will be attending the Saints/Bengals game amongst friends and family. The family being my cousin Trent Yates and the friends being Brent Fletcherand John Cofer. An excellent group of citizens, and hopefully a group that won't be embarrassed when I break out my Reggie Bushjersey, face paint, and gold and black wig because boys...it's coming out. I'm also contemplating a poster that reads, "The Bengals are just a bunch of pussies." Thoughts?

I can't wait, and I will a full recap when I get back. You kids enjoy your weekend.

B.S. with a C in the middle

I'm not an avid supporter or opponent of the BCS, actually I'm relatively in the middle on it. I think it's a definite improvement from where we were just 10-15 years ago. In BCS b.c. as it will be commonly referred at GoodBetterBest you were forced to watch certain teams from certain conferences battle it out year in and year out in the big bowls. I like the random match-ups of teams you don't normally get to see play one another now that it's BCS a.d. What I don't like?

These rankings:

Harris Coaches CPU
Rank Team BCS Avg Rank Votes % Rank Votes % Avg % Prev
1 Ohio State 0.9765 1 2800 1.000 1 1574 0.999 3 0.930 1
2 Michigan 0.9735 2 2688 0.960 2 1513 0.961 1 1.000 2
3 Southern California 0.8699 3 2458 0.878 4 1373 0.872 4 0.860 7
4 Florida 0.8495 4 2441 0.872 3 1381 0.877 6 0.800 4
5 Notre Dame 0.8193 5 2267 0.810 5 1273 0.808 5 0.840 9
6 Rutgers 0.7866 7 2024 0.723 8 1082 0.687 2 0.950 13
7 Arkansas 0.7567 6 2234 0.798 6 1248 0.792 9 0.680 11
8 West Virginia 0.6575 8 1864 0.666 7 1113 0.707 11 0.600 10
9 Wisconsin 0.6428 11 1678 0.599 10 928 0.589 8 0.740 15
10 Louisville 0.6408 10 1711 0.611 12 884 0.561 7 0.750 3
11 Louisiana State 0.6028 9 1846 0.659 9 1054 0.669 13 0.480 12
12 Boise State 0.5541 13 1471 0.525 13 830 0.527 10 0.610 14
13 Texas 0.5169 12 1630 0.582 11 927 0.589 16 0.380 5
14 Auburn 0.4678 15 1304 0.466 15 721 0.458 14 0.480 6
15 California 0.4391 17 1033 0.369 17 580 0.368 12 0.580 8
16 Wake Forest 0.4362 14 1341 0.479 14 724 0.460 17 0.370 19
17 Oklahoma 0.3868 16 1257 0.449 16 711 0.451 19 0.260 17
18 Georgia Tech 0.3612 18 936 0.334 18 566 0.359 15 0.390 18
19 Maryland 0.2196 21 567 0.203 21 325 0.206 20 0.250 23
20 Boston College 0.2194 20 600 0.214 20 384 0.244 21 0.200 22
21 Virginia Tech 0.2048 19 694 0.248 19 420 0.267 23 0.100 21
22 Tennessee 0.189 22 397 0.142 23 213 0.135 18 0.290 16
23 Nebraska 0.1021 23 396 0.141 22 228 0.145 0 0.020 -
24 Oregon 0.0873 25 129 0.046 26 72 0.046 22 0.170 20
25 Brigham Young 0.0632 24 325 0.116 24 116 0.074 0 0.000 -

It's hard for me to say this as a diehard SEC fan and apologist, but Florida being ranked #4 is embarrassing and ludicrous (notice the spelling, so I'm not talking about the rapper). What have the Gators done to deserve this ranking? A close win over a Georgia team that at the time was coming off nail biters against Colorado, Ole Miss, and Miss. St.? A close victory over Vanderbilt and S. Carolina? Sorry, doesn't do much for me. I know you play in the SEC and the SEC is sooooooo much more difficult than all the other conferences, but you don't get a pass to be the #4 team in this big mess.

Who should be crying, bitching and moaning like all these other coaches is the biggest Nutt of them all, Houston Nutt. Get it...play on words. Wit wit wit. The Hogs are 9-1 and 6-0 in that vaunted SEC that we all talk about. Their lone loss? A opening weekend loss to the team that currently sits in the #3 BCS slot, the University of Southern Cal. I don't consider that a bad loss regardless of score. Anything can happen opening weekend as teams try to find themselves and their identity. Arkansas is a new team since that opening week loss. They figured out where they have talent...running back. Darren McFadden might be the most underrated, least talked about, great player in the nation. If LSU, Alabama, Tennessee, Georgia, Florida, or Auburn had a runningback blowing away the field in the SEC in rushing yards, you'd hear about him all the time. He'd probably even be a Heisman front-runner. McFadden is lucky to get pub in his hometown paper. I don't get that. He threw a touchdown against Tennessee last week, and he didn't do it on a reverse or gimmick play...he lined up at quarterback.

The point I'm making here is that the system, as much of an improvement as it may be, is extremely flawed still. Arkansas has been dominating good teams all year and Florida has been barely beating everyone, yet Florida sits firmly at the #4 spot. Why? Preseason rankings. The Hogs weren't ranked to start the year, the Gators were anywhere from 3-5. Arkansas didn't crack the top 25 until they were 5-1. They've had to climb from receiving votes, to where they are now. You only have so many games to make it to the top and overcome your deficit, and unfortunately for Arkansas and barring some help, it looks as if they are going to run out of time.

How do we rectify this? Well, the easy answer...playoff system. But, even before hell freezes over or Ole Miss beats LSU, we have to fix what we've got. There has to be a way for a team to not be penalized for writers and idiot coaches underestimating and miscalculating how good they are before the season even starts. Arkansas isn't the only team suffering from gross miscalculations. Look at Rutgers. 9-0 and undefeated in their conference and they just defeated a team that was thought to be a frontrunner for the national championship in Louisville. But, unless USC, Florida, Notre Dame, and even probably Arkansas lose...they won't stand a chance to make it to the championship game. Even with all those teams losing, we could potentially wind up with a Michigan/Ohio St. rematch over a 1 loss Rutgers team getting in. Flawed.

I don't know how to rectify it, but I'm open to hearing your suggestions. I can sit back and actually enjoy it since I don't have a team in the mess, but I know that if Ole Miss or Florida State was in the position Arkansas or Rutgers are this year...I'd be rioting. And for all you Ole Miss and State fans that read this blog, you know it's exactly the situation we would be in if we had 1 loss.

Candlestick in the Wind

A place that I grew up knowing almost as well as Vaught-Hemingway in Oxford, might be seeing its last days, as the San Francisco 49ers are looking to potentially move things to the suburbs in Santa Clara.

SAN FRANCISCO -- The San Francisco 49ers ended negotiations with the city about building a new stadium Wednesday and have turned their focus to the Bay Area suburb of Santa Clara.

Owner John York notified Mayor Gavin Newsom of the team's decision earlier Wednesday, the mayor's spokesman, Peter Ragone, told The Associated Press.

Team spokesman Aaron Salkin declined to comment but the 49ers issued a news release late Wednesday night announcing the decision.

According to the release, the team decided after studying the area around Candlestick Park for the past year that the site needed too many infrastructure and public transit improvements, as well as one of the largest parking garages in the world.

The team said the cost of the infrastructure improvements could have exceeded the cost of the proposed stadium, which was estimated to cost between $600 million and $800 million.

Also, the team said it was unlikely it could achieve its goal of opening the new stadium in time for the 2012 season.

Now the team is seeking to build a new stadium in Santa Clara, near the Great America amusement park and the Santa Clara Convention Center. Santa Clara is located in San Francisco's South Bay area near San Jose.

"We're excited to work with Santa Clara officials to discuss this project," owner John York said in a statement. "Based on our initial analysis, Santa Clara has strong potential to deliver the game day experience our fans deserve."

York said the team would not change its name under any circumstances.

"Nothing will persuade us to change the name of the San Francisco 49ers, one of the most storied brands in the world of sports," he said.

The 49ers headquarters and training facility are currently based in Santa Clara, located about 30 miles south of San Francisco.

"We have been looking to expand our entertainment options in the Great America-Convention Center area for years, and this stadium can be a great addition," Santa Clara Mayor Patricia Mahan said in a statement issued by the team. "The 49ers have been clear that their goal is to put together a project that has no impact on the City's general fund and no increase in taxes, and we are ready to give this project our full attention."

The 49ers and San Francisco officials had been talking over the last few months about building a privately financed stadium at Candlestick Point that was going to be part of the city's bid for the 2016 summer Olympics.

Ragone did not know how the 49ers' decision would impact the Olympic bid. San Francisco, Los Angeles and Chicago are the three cities competing to be the U.S. Olympic Committee's choice to bid on the 2016 games.

The team's current lease at Candlestick runs through the 2008 season and the team holds three five-year options that could extend it through 2023.

The current stadium at Candlestick is one of the most run-down in the league, leading to the team's desire to seek a new stadium with revenue-generating suites and luxury boxes. The plan to build a stadium also included public housing, retail and office space.

The city was not going to contribute any money to the stadium but was willing to possibly help with some of the infrastructure costs.

York assured San Francisco officials that he was only negotiating with the city, but Ragone said the team had talked in recent weeks to Santa Clara officials about the move.

Ragone added that York told the mayor he would consider moving the team somewhere else in California. Los Angeles and Anaheim also are seeking an NFL team.

The mayors of the two cities met last month with new commissioner Roger Goodell to offer their competing plans to lure a team back to southern California.

Los Angeles city leaders want to build a new stadium within the walls of the historic Memorial Coliseum, featuring 200 luxury boxes and 15,000 club seats at a cost of $800 million.

Goodell also met with Anaheim Mayor Curt Pringle about his city's plans to sell the NFL 53 acres at the below-market price of $50 million to build a new stadium adjacent to Angel Stadium.

The Los Angeles area hasn't had an NFL team since after the 1994 season when the Raiders returned to Oakland and the Anaheim-based Rams moved to St. Louis.

Candlestick has been called about a million names to this point, 3-Comm, Monster, The Stick, etc... Many great memories for people have occured within the confines of that stadium.



That's Dwight Clark. He made this catch against the hated Dallas Cowboys to win the NFC Championship game and send the 49ers on to the SuperBowl.

I don't remember this catch because my brain was not fully developed yet as I was just a youngster.

I do remember this catch:



That's Terrell Owens, you might know him as "T.O." This catch sent the 49ers to the NFC Championship game. After this catch T.O. cried like a wittle bitty baby. It let people know he was human. Years later he would do sit-ups while conductin an interview in his driveway. This would let people know he was a human asshole. It let me know why I liked him. He doesn't care.

Point is, Candlestick will be missed. I watched many a game on tv from that stadium, and cheered for a 49er team that I loved for over a decade. But, I can't be too sad, because this isn't the same team playing in that stadium. These are the new Alex Smith and Frank Gore led 'Niners. They are comparable to Montana, Rice, and Roger Craig...right?

Genesis...A Revelation

The greatest rock band in the history of the world (not called Tenacious D) is set to reunite.

LONDON, England (AP) -- Members of the rock group Genesis are reuniting for their first tour in 15 years.

Phil Collins, 55, Mike Rutherford, 56, and Tony Banks, 56, said they planned to kick off a 20-date stadium tour of Europe next June.

The "Turn it on Again" tour -- named for one of their hits -- begins in Helsinki, Finland, on June 11 and ends with a free concert in front of the Colosseum in Rome on July 14.

A series of U.S. dates will follow, the band said.

Genesis was founded in the mid-1960s by Rutherford, Banks, Anthony Phillips and singer Peter Gabriel, who left the group in 1975 and was replaced on vocals by drummer Collins.

They became one of the biggest bands of the 1970s and 80s, with hits such as "Follow You, Follow Me," "That's All" and "Invisible Touch."

The band last toured in 1991, and Collins quit the band to go solo in 1996.

Announcing the tour Tuesday, Collins -- whose solo career has netted him a fortune -- said the reunion was not motivated by money.

"I think we are all loaded enough not to worry about where the next million or two is coming from," he said.

"I just felt now was the right time to have a go at it."

Banks said the tour would give fans the chance to hear a side of the band that went beyond their hits.

"Genesis has another side to it, a more complex area of music," he said.

"One side gets slightly more attention than the other. We are trying to reacquaint people. Genesis is not particularly a group mentioned very much these days and we want to remind people we did do a lot of things."

This would be the greatest news since we found Britney and K-Fed were getting divorced. So, by that you can tell we haven't good news in quite some time. Unfortunately with every bit of good news comes some bad. Peter Gabriel will not be touring with the group as it conflicts with his schedule of making weird videos like "Sledgehammer." People love Gabriel, but I was always a Collins man myself.

K-Fed Up

In the words of Stephen from Laguna Beach this couple is dunzo. Britney Spears-Federline and Kevin K-Fed Federspears are divorcing after just over two years of blissful marriage.

The lovely couple, and model of American marriage have two children who are undoubtedly cursed for life. They created one-year-old Sean Preston and James Jayden who is the latest little apple of their eyes. No word yet on if either of these kids will take after their father and be dancers in mommy's next music video, but stay tuned to GoodBetter as more information on that becomes readily available.

Federline is rumored to have uttered a few words as a last ditch effort to keep his wife saying, "Britney, I'm a slave for u!!! Oooo baby baby you know your love is toxic. I mean, what'd you expect getting involved with me, you knew you were playing with fire, album in stores playa!! I know I said I wouldn't do that anymore, but...Oops...I did it again." These words didn't resonate with Spears who simply told Federline to kiss her papazao.

Stay tuned for more news and some video I plan to provide that shows the divorce papers, as well as Spears enjoying her first night out after filing said papers. No word yet on whether or not K-Feddy used them to roll a phattie.